Quieting Your Inner Critic
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m not smart enough.”
“Why do I think I could have that opportunity?”
“I’m not qualified”
These are all statements you’ve probably had with your inner critic...You know that annoying voice inside your head that is constantly reminding you how you don’t measure up to everyone else.
Some people seem to have the naturally ability to let these thoughts come and go, without putting much weight to them. Others are letting these thoughts hold us back on the daily. It’s heartbreaking, because if we took a moment to ask our friends and family, they would tell us our inner critic is 100% wrong.
Why then are we letting this negative voice inside our heads dictate the choices we make or cause us to feel bad about ourselves?
Answer: We shouldn’t.
So how do you start overcoming your mean inner critic and take back control of your life?
When you think of others, you often do so with grace, allowing them the benefit of the doubt. You see their experience as a work in progress and not perfection. You acknowledge that they took some risks, even when something was beyond their skill level. You see her uniqueness as her beauty.
Take a moment and view yourself through that same lens. Look at your accomplishments and acknowledge that they are truly accomplishments. You may not be on grand master level (yet), but being the best isn’t the point. The point is to keep improving every day.
When your inner critic starts creeping up, stop and view the scenario through your compassionate lens. You deserve to treat yourself with the same respect you treat others with.
Ask Friends and Family
Text your mom, your dad, or your best friends, and ask them what they admire most about you and what they see as your strengths. Then save these responses in the notes section on your phone. Whenever you feel that inner critic creeping to the surface, take a moment and read the responses. Prove to your inner critic it’s wrong.
Or, next time you are hanging with your closests girlfriends, have everyone say one thing that they think each person is amazing at.
As you sit waiting for your turn, your inner critic will probably tell you that your friends are going to have nothing to say about you, but that voice will quickly disappear once you hear the affirmations from your best friends!
Simply by taking a moment to remind our friends, colleagues, and family of their talents, we can help each other battle the mean dialogue of our inner critic.
The act of meditation is a continual lesson in directing your attention and your thoughts. Have you ever tried to meditate and thought “I can’t turn my mind off”? Well that is exactly what the practice of meditation will teach you to do: evaluate those random thoughts and release them.
With practice, your mind will be much better at identifying your inner critic and let the thoughts go, instead of thinking of them over and over, keeping you up at night, or distracting you from your real life.
Allow yourself to feel relieved. Relieved that your inner critic is lying to you all the time.
You are not alone. We are all thinking these terrible thoughts about ourselves, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have the power to change the conversation. And in case you still aren’t convinced - you are amazing, you are beautiful, and you are so loved! That is the truth, 100% of the time, all the time.
Carolyn Mann is a marketing strategist for entrepreneurs with a focus on helping creative women niche their business and develop a marketing strategy to reach their ideal customer. She believes in helping her clients simplify their messaging and their marketing instead of trying to do #allthethings.
When not checking on analytics and writing email welcome sequences, you’ll find her soaking up the Okanagan sunshine on the lake or hanging out with her two dogs, or touring around the Okanagan wine tasting!