Dating: When to Say Yes

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Throughout high school and parts of college, I was confused about dating. I did not know when to say yes, when to say no and when to say no and run the other direction. So never knowing the steps to take when a boy was interested in me, I ended up falling into relationships that (1) did not glorify God (2) did not build me up and encourage me in everyday living and (3) made me feel lost and confused, dating just to date because it was the cool thing to do since all my friends were dating as well.

There are many times in our lives where we do things without thinking about the impact it will have in our lives in the long run. The relationships that I said yes to while I was in high school had a long impact on the way I looked at myself and the way I looked at relationships. For instance, I dated this one guy who was not a Christian, did not have the same standards or beliefs that I did, and was not wanting to become a Christian at any time in his life. While I was on this relationship, I slowly started not spending as much time with the Lord. I did not believe in myself and I was stagnate in my life. At that time, I did not know saying a simple "Yes" to a simple guy would lead to me having such a difficult time with my future relationship with my now husband. 

Looking back, I have realized how the enemy used that relationship to hold me down, and how I allowed him to hold me there and feed me sand. Yes you heard me, I allowed the enemy to hold me down and feed me sand instead of inviting the Lord to feed me the Holy Spirit. It is important that when a guy is interested in you, for you to say “Thank you for approaching me and telling me you are interested in me. Let me think about it and I will let you know.” Once you have told the guy and thanked him, fully throw yourself into the Lord’s arms and ask him if this is the relationship for you. Simple as that.

Ask and the Lord will answer you.

He is not holding out on you and he is not hiding anything from you. But also be prepared for the answer and fully be obedient in what the Lord says. He is your father, he loves you, he literally has the best for you even if you don’t see it. 

Some things to consider when you are confused about dating 

  • If you are saying YES because all your friends are in relationships, that is not a good reason. You are being careless about the guy's heart and that is not kind at all. 
  • If you are saying YES because you want to feel important, your focus is on the wrong thing. Once you are in the relationship, you will get bored soon and want something else. 
  • If you are saying YES to a guy, you are also saying YES to him coming into your life, invading your heart and mind. Take this decision seriously. 
  • Never say yes to a guy because it feels right or someone pushes you into it. Say YES because the Lord said yes. 
  • Lastly, don’t settle. 

Dating is a beautiful process that leads to marriage. If you are not dating for marriage then you are missing out on what the Lord has for you. Not only are you missing out, you are also wasting time where you could be doing amazing things with friends and family. 

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Hey, My name is Winnie Nyatome-Warner.

I love people so much that I am studying social work to be able to know what type of services they need!

I like Jesus a lot. I was born in Kenya and I speak three languages and as of right now I plan to add Spanish to it hahah! My love language is spending time with me and getting me presents!

I love working with little kids and eventually I want to foster kids. One day I would love to be a full time conference women speaker. I love eating good food, spending time with friends, writing, and seeing which places I can visit next!