I had a really good lover that I really liked


Tired of listening to the broken record of shattered dreams and carrying a plaid shirt full of them...I stomped into the bakery, trying hard not to be melodramatic but failing terribly and gave him his unfaithful belongings. I then took back my heart, power and left him standing in his fears...while triumphantly biting into my delicious fresh baked chocolate croissant. Love will make you do crazy things! But I am so blessed that at an early age, I learned to love myself and to know I deserved the best. So I refuse to not leave things unresolved or kept in limbo...as to not embarrass myself with someone who doesn't understand my worth. 

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind 2 Timothy 1:7." I need to renew my mind of this, especially when I fall in love. I realize it's better to grow in love, but I am such a lover. Sometimes I fall easily in love (I need my bohemian soul to be more wise) when I need to be more careful at guarding my heart. Love, or infatuation rather...which is incredibly addicting, could make any person lose their mind! Perhaps it's the Science behind it or that silly Oxytocin Hormone...which for a women is 10x more stronger then in men? That may be one of the reasons why the "Ex's" come crawling back at times.

There is hope for the hopeless and the broken hearted. You can build a new neural pathway in six weeks. You can give the electricity in your brain an alternative place to flow. Every time you find yourself pondering about an ex or disappointment in love,  its best to shift your attention to another thought. A new pathway will build if you do this every day without fail for six weeks. God willing, you will be completely healed and whole for another romantic adventure to begin again! Ah the best is yet to come!

Shy of my thirties, I hardly know anything about what a Healthy Romantic Relationship looks like. But I know, I love to love! I am called to be a Wife, and Mother one day, and so I am asking the Lord for wisdom in this area of life. Conversing with this beautiful women from the South of France...decked out in her Parisian Attire (as if she stepped out of a magazine) we sip our coffee and discuss Love, Romance, Fantasy, and Marriage, she is on her third marriage. Her first husband of 3 children, left her for a man. Her current one (whom she is unsatisfied with at times) finds delight in imaginations and flirts with the mystery of unrequited love. Unrequited (love not returned or rewarded) love is probably the most tormenting of all. The what "if's" and fantasies our minds conjure up, can drive one wild...if we don't know how to direct that madness into productive creativity. Yes, we must renew our mind to have the mind of Christ. I've had two unrequited love's in my life so far. The first one crippled me for 2 years until I began songwriting and then a plethora of magical colors exploded out of my soul. The second one, I planned our running away together...but knew in my heart it was not God's will so again, I wrote some healing songs. Her unrequited love is mutual with this man and they both said, "One day, if we are both single....then yes".. (sigh). Sometimes love can be unfair and timing is everything!  

Despite my wild imaginations, I firmly believe that love is a choice and can be completely and wholeheartedly pragmatic. But even if I'm swept off my feet and it doesn't work, I have assurance of my first love...JESUS. Co-dependency can leave a mess, but Jesus of course can help put the pieces of your heart back together. "Jesus already sacrificed for everyone in the entire world no one needs to sacrifice for each other" (surprising last words from this mysterious French woman). I'll be hanging out in Song of Songs for 6 weeks with my first love, while this heart mends. I do have hope for the next love adventure...and it will be more incredible! I know there will be many more mountains and valley's ahead, but as this broken heart heals...I already accept the dare to risk LOVE AGAIN! I am grateful for the extra wisdom in my suitcase.

Written By Hillary Ross