Is He The One?
“Come over, we need to talk!” - Girlfriend
“Okay I will be right over” - Me
“So I have some news, I’m seeing a guy!” - Girlfriend
“What, oh my... tell me all about it” - ME
“Well he is super nice, we just starting hanging out. But I’m kinda stressing because I don’t know if he is my husband” - Girlfriend
Okay Okay…. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Why is she needing to know if he is her husband right away, when they are just starting seeing each other?!
Now hear me out first...I’m all about dating with purpose. I’m at the age now where I want to settle down, have a family and marry my best friend. But what I’m trying to get at is...I think often times we prematurely put too much stress on our relationships, when they haven't even had a chance to fully develop yet.
Like we do this crazy thinking...is he the one? Even after the second or third date....or whatever the case may be.
By no means am I a Dating Expert! But dating can be stressful at times when there are so many factors involved such as; emotions, insecurities, location, jobs etc..
I would say from my experiences...learn to enjoy the process of getting to know one another. When we put too much emphasis thinking on the first or second date...if he is my husband or not...just creates more stress, then its all we end up thinking about.
But rather experience the joy of getting to know him and make it fun. Ask him good questions like; what are your dreams, where do you see your life going, do you want to have a family someday, what are your values, do you prefer coffee or tea, or what makes you laugh? I love asking questions...but maybe don't drill him with 3,000 questions on the first date :p
Go on fun dates! Maybe hit up a fun concert, or grab a picnic basket...or hit up the beach or go to the fair. The fair is always fun to grab candy apples, hot dogs, play some silly games and maybe you'll win a big stuffed bear. You can also see if he's a sore loser!
Being intentional is important though, if you're looking for your future partner. You don't want to waste your time with someone who isn't anything you're looking for, as a future partner. But you don't need to know on the second date if he is your husband...just chill and go for the ride. As long as you see those qualities you're looking for, and you feel peace with how things are moving forward...take a chance and discover the possibility... I say you go girl.
I think the biggest thing for me was inviting God into the relationship and asking him to guide me along the way. Just trust God, as He will give you peace to keep moving forward...or ending the relationship.