What do you think about yourself?
When we meet someone for the first time, what is the first thing we say? What do you do? Then we talk about what we do for a living or if we are going to school to develop more skills for our future, but usually it ends there, we don't really proceeded further.
What if for the first time we meet someone we say…”what do you think of yourself”? Would that be a too concided question? Maybe, but what if at the end of that sentence we also say...Truly?
I think for some people, we want to show that we are doing great, we are in the best place we can be. We are successful and confident and awesome!!! For others, they may not feel that way at all and proceed to tell you their struggles, But do we think that truly?
How about we change the question to, what do you think about your own self image, truly? This may be a more sensitive question for many people. It definitely is something that myself and most women struggle with.
I know I would be speaking for many woman, when I say that we don't think very highly of our self's. It may not be currently at this point, but we have all been there.
What has happened to our self image? Why do we self destruct? I know for myself, I didn't really know what it meant to really love my self. I have always thought to love others first and not making any major emphasis on loving myself. We can blame the media and say that they have a false perception on what reality looks like. We can blame our parents and peers for pressuring us into thinking that we are not good enough. We can look at our spouses and significant others and blaming them for having a false expectation on what a man or woman is suppose to look or act.
Honestly, I think we need to look at ourselves. We can choose to listen to what everyone else thinks of us or we can start talking to ourselves in a loving way.. Easier said than done, I know...Trust me, I am working on this myself.
Have you really looked yourself in the mirror? I mean really? Have you removed all the flaws that have bothered you for months, years or a life time and started to look at those flaws as beautiful?
I have a partially chipped tooth that I had chipped by biting into a sandwich of all things! I some how bit down so hard on my bottom right incisor tooth that I took a small chunk out of my upper right central tooth. I must have been really hungry that day! Ha!
Anyways, the reason why I'm telling you this is when this happened, The only thing that I can see in the mirror was that horrible chipped tooth!!! I made my flaw take over! Nobody noticed it as much as I did ( which I always pointed out, ironically) and nobody commented on it as much as I did. It was not even noticeable, now that I look back, but It was a huge flaw in my eyes. I actually stopped smiling for a while there, and people did comment on my behavior and asking if I was okay. I would say sure, why? Not even realizing that I had stopped smiling. Our perspective gets so altered when we get caught up in our flaws.
Now When I look myself in the mirror, I don't even notice it. This happened several years ago. I stopped looking at this as a problem and now have embraced this and it is one of many things that makes me unique and beautiful! I was having a conversation the other day with my husband who we share two beautiful children with and He had caught me off guard and asked me why I sometimes don't let him see me fully. I asked him what he meant? He explained that occasionally not let him see me fully in the buff. I will have long pants on or a shirt that is just a little too baggy. I told him that after having our children, my body is not the same as it use to be and I do get self conscious of it. I made a big deal about this so much that I also commented on the fact that I have seen him sometime take a glance at other woman and I feel that I still have a lot to work on. And in this moment, he openly admitted, “You're right. I have fallen short in that area and I am sorry. I can tell you though, I truly want you.” He was actually asking me that question, to then comment on how beautiful he sees me and that he loves me unconditionally (which he later told me), but he never got a chance to say that, because I was too busy putting myself down.
Now that I look back at this I realized two things:
First, what an awful thing I did to my husband. For me to turn a compliment into a comparison game. Second, my husband loves my so much! He is the most loyal, kindest, non-judgmental, unconditional, purest, friendliest, warmest and compassionate love of my life and I have to start realizing that! I got a really great guy! He loves me if I'm fit or not! He doesn't focus on my flaws, but encourages me to be healthy and happy. In fact, he compliments me all the time on my appearance. I was the one that was assuming other wise because I hadn’t truly loved myself. But he has proven that, if you have someone that truly loves you, he loves every bit of you, and that his attraction for you is unlimited. All this will not work though, if you don't first love yourself.
My own thoughts of my self image has developed over time from experience from different events in my life. Some of which has made me feel less valuable. But I don't have to hold on to those thoughts of myself, but realize that I am truly beautiful inside and out! I have surrounded myself with people in my life that have encouraged me to be the best me!
Now that I have those people in my life, I also have to treat them right and allow them to love me unconditionally. Then believe them when they say awesome things about me.
So be absolutely in love with yourself! Treat yourself kindly and respectfully!
This body you have is just a loan from our heavenly Father and he made you in his image. You are more precious then any diamond, sapphire or gem. Your being you is first of all a miracle and an honor to be alive.
Live your truest potential and let love first come from within.
Written By Tammy Durrand