7 Questions You Can Ask Yourself To Reconnect With Your Authentic Self
About 12 years ago I woke up one morning; I remember it was a beautiful spring day. The sunlight fell through the huge windows of my apartment that was situated in one of the most picturesque neighborhoods of Frankfurt, Germany.
When I opened my eyes everything around me was perfect. I had a really cute bachelor apartment, the weather outside was gorgeous, and I had nothing to complain about. No health problems, a safe job, I was financially stable. If you would have asked me: What else do you need to be happy? My answer would have probably been: Nothing.
The most confusing part was that I felt completely unmotivated to get out of bed. I would even say I was depressed. Every fiber of my being was in resistance to starting the day and going to work. Just the thought of spending another week of my life in the same kind of way, made me consider suicide. For a few minutes I was playing with the idea of becoming a nun. I thought, then I could read all day and at least I wouldn’t have to figure out how to make money, how to get better at things or how to compete with other people. I basically wanted to run away from my life.
The contrast between my beautiful surroundings and my inner state of depression was so extreme, that for the first time I realized, nothing outside of myself has the power to make me happy. I began to wonder: If all of those things can't make me feel good, then what can?
As I was lying in my warm bed staring at the ceiling, I remembered that I was always a happy child and that I used to get up every morning with a lot of enthusiasm and curiosity for the day. But in this moment, all of that was gone.
What happened, I wondered. When did I lose my yes? When did I lose my hunger for life?
I suddenly realized that I’ve been living a life that had nothing to do with me. A lot of decisions I’ve made up to that day were based on trying to fit into society or trying to make other people happy. I had not lived a life true to myself and I lost the connection to the most precious thing in life - my authentic self.
The last 12 years were a journey back to myself - an Odyssey full of adventures with moments of great happiness and despair. I met my deepest fears, I made a million mistakes, and I fell flat on my face almost every single day. From the outside it might look that I’ve accomplished nothing and completely lost myself, but the truth is: I’ve never been more me. My circumstances might be less perfect than back then, but I feel more free and strong internally.
What helps me to stay connected with my authentic self is to ask myself the following 7 questions as often as possible (usually I do it before I start my day).
If you can, take a few minutes for each question. Keep a pen handy, just in case you get a wave of inspiration and you need to capture your thoughts. What helps me is to say the question out loud and then close my eyes and feel the answer not with my intellectual mind, but within my heart.
Here are the 7 questions to help you reconnect with your authentic self:
What would I do today if I loved myself 100%?
What would bring me joy today?
Who am I? Does my life reflect who I am? (Does my job, my relationships; my everyday actions reflect who I am?)
What would I do today if I weren’t afraid?
What would I do if I had only five more years to live?
What would I do if I lived forever?
If I allowed myself to imagine my "heaven on earth" how would it look like? What would I do all day? Where would I live? What people would I like to surround myself with?
When you go deeper into these questions you allow yourself to tap into a different dimension of who you are. You’re connecting with your higher self – a source of knowledge inside of you that you’ve been trained not to trust. Unfortunately, in our Western society we’ve all been conditioned to look for answers outside of ourselves. If we don’t feel good, we go to a doctor. If we’re not sure what decision to make, we ask a friend, a therapist or Google. But the answers are all within you. You are far more knowledgeable and powerful than you think you are and only you can truly know what’s best for you.
A great insight that got lost a long time ago is that your body, your mind and your spirit are inter-connected. What does that mean? If you’re feeling depressed or anxious, if you have a disease or pain in your body, all of these discomforts are not standing alone for themselves. Any sort of pain or disease can come from something that you’re continually suppressing in your life. Maybe you’re not allowing yourself to fully express your creativity and do the things that bring you joy or maybe your mind is emphasizing things in your life that are not meaningful to your soul. This can cause your body to create pain to make you aware that something is out of balance. That’s how smart you and your body are.
Whenever you feel stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, burned out, bored, unmotivated, sick, restless or annoyed, have a look at these questions. They create clarity and compassion for yourself and help you to not see yourself as a victim, but as a co-creator of life.
Believe in yourself.
Believe that you are worthy of living a joyful life.
Believe in your ability to find your own way.
Connecting to your authentic self doesn’t require any time. You can do it here and now…and you’ll be home.